The Vital Importance of Self-Leadership

1 Sam. 30:1-8

David is a young leader just learning how to lead his troops into battle. And God is pouring his favour on David by allowing the largest part of the battle to turn out to David’s advantage.

The men came home from another day of fighting only to find that, while they were fighting on the one front, the enemy came from another front and took captive their wives and children, moved them to another location, and burned all their belongings.

This was a terrible and testing day in the ministry for David. He was crushed. His family was taken to an unknown place and all of his belongings have been reduced to ashes.

What is worse is his soldiers are tired, weary and worried sick about their families. They are angry at God and fed up of David’s leadership, saying things like “this is all your fault” and they even started talking about stoning him.

David looked at the leadership compass (if you may) and accesses who most needs leadership in this particular moment. There is no one above him. Those below him hate him. There are no colleagues on the side. His answer? None of the above.

He realizes in this critical moment that he must lead himself. His is going to have to do something about his own condition. It wouldn’t make sense to even attempt to lead the people around or below him. He is tired, he is confused, he is anxious and he is warned out.

So what does he do? The bible says “he went off to find his strength in God”.

With God’s help, David could once again lead himself to a position of strength. Only then could he fire up the troops, only then could they muster the faith and courage to pursue the enemy and bring back their wives and children for a time of rejoicing.

But how important is self-leadership?

Let me ask this in another way. How effectively are you going to lead anybody if your spirit is sagging, if your courage is wavering and your vision (or should I say, your ability to see the future) is fuzzy?

Self-leadership is incredibly important. As leaders we should carefully calculate how much time and energy we invest in ourselves.

A couple of years ago author Daniel Goleman wrote a book called Emotional Intelligence. Since releasing that book, Goleman has been spending most of his time analyzing leaders trying to figure out why only a few leaders reach their fullest potential and why the rest plato and actually fail from reaching that potential.

Do you know what he concluded after studying this for a couple of years? The single greatest distinguishing factor between good leaders and great leaders has something to do with self-leadership, with emotional self-control.

It comes down to questions like these:

What is the leader’s ability to…

· Navigate through the highs and lows of leadership?

· Overcome personal discouragement?

· Maintain sober mindedness in a crisis?

· Keep ego at bay at all times?

· Stay focused on life’s mission?

Exceptional leaders reach their fullest potential because of exceptional self-leadership.

How much time are you putting into developing yourself?

As you read the first couple of chapters of the book of Mark, you will notice how incredibly busy Jesus was with the ministry. He was training the twelve, teaching the people, and healing people with all kinds of diseases and sicknesses.

But in the midst of all the chaos and activity, you constantly see him taking time out for prayer, fasting, solitude and reflection.

He spent 40 days in the desert to just square himself off.

You see him doing great and awesome things and then you see him up on the mountainside again - always making sure that he is in a good position to lead himself.

Jesus was able to establish an incredible rhythm.

From a personal perspective it almost seems like he was practicing the art of self-leadership.

He often withdrew for times of prayer, fasting and reflection, and he reminded himself of who he was. How much his father loved him and what his marching orders were. And how important it was for him to fulfill his redemptive mission and not get distracted.

It is my opinion that even Jesus had to regularly invest time in keeping his calling clear and preventing discouragement from creeping in.

Self-leadership is a tough job. So tough that most leaders avoid spending time in developing themselves! And rather defer their energy and efforts by trying to control the behaviours of other people.

Controlling our own attitudes and behaviours are simply too demanding.

So why don’t we just make it easier by trying to control the behavior, attitude and actions of those below us? Because when we do, we don’t have to look at ourselves and our own struggles, temptations, flaws and issues.

But there is a price tag to this decision. Because when you avoid the discipline of self-leadership, you do so to your own detriment.

The question is not whether you will pay the price, but much rather, when you will pay the price and how much it will cost you.

Some years ago a top Christian leader disqualified himself from ministry and here is how a published article described his demise:

Reverent so and so sank like a rock, beat up, burned out, angry and depressed. No good to himself and no good to the people he loved.

When the pastor finally wrote about what happened to him, he himself explained it this way:

“Eventually I couldn’t sleep at night. Another wave of broken lives would come to shore at our church and I found that I did not have enough compassion for them anymore. And inside I was angry. Angry, angry, angry!! Many people still wondered what happened to me. They think I had a crisis of faith. The fact is I simply collapsed on the inside.’

In context of what we are talking about right now, he failed the self-leadership test.

He should have taken time out. He should have regrouped. He should have gone to the mountain. He should have recalibrated. Maybe he needed a sabbatical or a spiritual retreat even. He lost his emotional self control and wrecked his life because of it. We all know that his situation is not unique and it can just as easily happen to us.

Everything comes down to self-leadership.

We need to continually ask ourselves these kind of questions:

1. Is my calling sure?

Each of has a calling and we need to live it out. No one can figure out or sort out my calling on my behalf. It’s got to be me. It is absolutely critical for the leader to know their calling from God. What is it that God wants me to do? Why has he placed me on earth?

2. Is my vision clear?

And is it crystal clear? How can I lead people into the future if my picture of the future is cloudy or fuzzy? I’ve got to know where I am going. And it is my responsibility to keep my vision clear? Mine alone.

3. Is my passion burning hot?

And is it burning so hot that it ignites people around me? This too is my responsibility.

I need to figure out what pours fresh fuel on my passion-fire.

On a personal level, this keeps my passion burning hot: Listening to sermons of various speakers, spending time with those who are ahead of me in the faith, attending conferences, reading books on leadership or people’s journey with God, and mentoring others and helping people become Christians. What is it that keeps your passion burning hot? I urge you to find out what it is and then pursue it at all cost.

4. Is my character fully submitted to Christ?

Is my pride subdued? Is it? Is my own ego messing with my ministry decisions? Are my fears at bay? Or do I let my worries and anxieties creep into the leadership picture? Is my psychological baggage effecting current ministry decisions? Are my ears open to the whispering of the Holy Spirit? Do I live in a way that affords God the opportunity to prompt me? Is my pace sustainable? Am I moving too slow or am I moving at all? Is my heart for God increasing or decreasing?

In conclusion, we simply have to invest a huge portion of our time and energy focusing on self-leadership. And we also have to be ruthlessly honest with ourselves as we reflect on these questions.

Why is this so important? Because, when you have squared yourself with God, when you are a man or woman after God’s own heart, when your vision is clear and your passion is burning hot, when your character is strong, when your baggage of the past isn’t affecting your decisions, and when you are listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit… then satan should watch out!! Because you will be a force to be reckoned with.

Remember, the best gift you can give your family, your bible talk, and your church, is a healthy, fully energized, fully engaged, surrendered self.

* Taken from a lesson by Bill Hybels (with some adjustments).